he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
