So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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