if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
