good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I fill condoms, not promises.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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