My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
smell my finger.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
