Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
