So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
