it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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