How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thus making me awesome and them whores
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
wow bdsm is so cute
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