My first STD was from a foam party
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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