Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
