It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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