Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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