By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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