dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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