would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
