YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
