she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
