Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
