Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
