Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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