I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
