You're so nebulous sometimes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
