Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
