We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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