my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
