yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You ruined the universe
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
