i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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