i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
