Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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