Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
