I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
