Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection