Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida