brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.