I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
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Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.