So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.