dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
