I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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