wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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