i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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