I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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