There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
