Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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