His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
