Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
