you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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