people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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