i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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