am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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