ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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