I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize