And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
