its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
