He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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