Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
