After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
