When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
