Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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