she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
