And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize