So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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